(Photo: Pexels/Freestocks.org)
To an outside observer, Amanda Leventhal, a college student
at the University of Missouri
Antidepressant ads and pop-culture portrayals of depression
often paint the same picture: withdrawal from friends or favorite activities,
trouble sleeping, and crying. While those are signs, the problem is that there
are many faces of depression. It also looks like Kristen Bell. It looks
like Olympic swimmer Allison Schmitt. It looks
like your colleague who just got promoted or your friend who just got engaged.
They are part of a growing contingent suffering from what’s been dubbed
high-functioning depression. And because a stigma is still attached, many keep
their sadness hidden and no one knows anything is wrong—sometimes until it’s
too late.
High- vs. low-functioning
High-functioning depression is when someone seems to have it
all together on the outside, but on the inside, they are severely sad. Carol Landau, PhD, a clinical professor of psychiatry and
human behavior and medicine at Brown University
“People often say being ‘high-functioning’ is better than
being ‘low-functioning,’ but that’s not really true because the most important
thing is for a depressed person to get help—which a high-functioning person is
limiting herself from,” Landau says.
(Photo: Pexels/Stock.tookapic.com)
A struggle hiding in plain sight
For Leventhal, the public essay of her private struggle was
years in the making. “It was something I had been thinking about for a while,”
she says. “I was up late one night, not sleeping, and decided to put into words
everything I had been reflecting on over the years.” She says after her post
went live, her friends told her they were shocked. Now, she feels more
comfortable bringing up her depression in conversations—“I mention that I have
an appointment with my therapist the same way I would a dentist
appointment”—but says she still doesn’t bring the topic up a lot because she’s
too worried it will bum people out.
Landau says this is typical for women. “We’re still striving
to be caregivers, and part of that is not admitting we need help,” she says.
“But it’s a huge problem. Depression is actually the leading cause of
disability worldwide, according to the World Health
Organization, which takes into account things like days lost from
work, not being up to doing daily activities, and [possibly leading to] other
illnesses like diabetes,” she says. “So the minute someone opens up to their
friend about it, they’ll find out that their friend will say, ‘Me too,’ or, ‘My
sister feels that way too,’ or, ‘So does my mom,’ or, ‘So does our other best
friend.’”
Other ways to spot depression
Leventhal doesn’t identify with the mopey women in
antidepressant ads. Her symptoms manifest themselves in other ways. “For me, it
was irritability,” she explains. Landau says this is totally normal. “You might
have a friend who is cranky all the time, or who people think of as a ‘bitch,’
but inwardly that person is really struggling. Other subtle signs to look for:
ironic or morose jokes—if they are out of character—or often seeming out of it.
So how do you talk to a friend who you believe is masking
her depression? Landau says to ask if she is okay, pointing out that she hasn’t
been herself lately. Leventhal echoes that sentiment. “Just little things, like
asking, ‘How are you doing?’” she says. “Just be there to listen and ask them
what they need. Different people will need different things.” Landau says it’s
best to be able to come armed with a suggestion, like a reputable therapist, or
an app like Headspace, used for meditation. “There are
so many different types of therapists, medications, apps, and other tools,”
Landau says. “That’s why it’s tragic that so many people don’t seek help.”
By Emily Laurence for Well+Good
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